Advice for Intercultural Couples

Every marriage takes work, compromise and commitment. But in intercultural relationships you have to work harder. To adjust and to be accepted by family, culture is a challenge. But you should remember love precedes all.

Here's some advice for people who are taking the plunge, so to say:

-- It's never boring!!! That's the good news. There's always something to learn about. It's such a flavorful way to live life.

-- There will be lots of misunderstandings. Get over it. Accept it. Communicate!

--  Immerse yourself in your spouse's culture. Learn everything. Read books. Watch movies. Listen to them as they converse. Visit their homeland at least a handful of times. Observe the customs. Soak in. Don't hesitate to ask questions. Understand the significance of the customs and rituals followed. Mostly there is a science behind it. 

To make an effort to understand their culture is to respect it. In Indian Weddings daughter-in-laws are faced some of the following questions- 

• "Why do we touch elders feet?"
• "What do you call an elder then, if not by their given name?"
• "Why is there such a secrecy about boyfriend/girlfriend?"
• "Why can't a girl talk back to the elders?"

--  Their culture's way of dating is probably completely different than yours. Plus, a couple will have their own pace of dating based on that mixture of the individuals.

-- Get used to people staring. It gets worse when you have kids!

-- Your first focus is to strengthen your relationship. Everyone else will come around.

-- If your spouse's family doesn't approve of you - be patient. You're not going anywhere. Don't let it stress you out. They probably just don't approve of the idea of you. Your spouse's family is not your problem - let your spouse handle them.

--  Don't let your cultural differences define you. Accept and admire each others differences.

There are some fights that are mostly about differences in culture, but then there are some that are about goals, jobs, priorities, families, money, sex, personalities - know the difference.

-- Have a support system. Everybody in your life should be rooting for your relationship. And find new friends who are in intercultural relationships who can really get it.

--  Fact: you're a foreigner. You will always be seen as a foreigner. Accept it and use it to your advantage. Any effort you make to understand their culture will be appreciated. So if you want to get some positive points from you new mom-in-law then dress the way she likes. Learn to appreciate the delicacies of the different culture. Ask for recipes! Food is the best way to bond with the female relatives.
But you can play the "foreigner" card in situations that are unpleasant and you want to be left out of.

The one thing to beware of is that an intercultural relationship will not work if you care too much what other people think. You have to have the courage to be in an intercultural relationship. Overlook the stares and comments. Even from your own family members. If you are committed then you are in it for life!

Only worry about you and your partner. Anybody else you cannot control. Don't waste one single fight over external influences such as your In-Laws, family, friends or strangers on the street. It's not worth it. Don't give them the satisfaction. Some people will try to break you up, create drama, and make you upset.

Only you will get satisfaction from the fact that whatever others do, can never affect your relationship.

How the Courtship Period moulds a Good Marriage Life

Indian weddings have evolved over a continuum of time. Be it with the help of an Indian Matrimonial Site, just through relatives or maybe after falling in love; the way marriages are handled and organized now has transformed. Times have changed and so has the people’s thinking. Culture has a very important role to play in Indian families. And every family has a different set of do’s and don’ts. 

Earlier, couples would get married almost as soon as the marriage was fixed. Now, Indian families believe in having giving the couple a decent time-gap between the engagement and marriage for courtship, so that they can get to know each other better. This is significant phase in the life of a couple as it will help you understand and determine a number of facets of your married life. 

Firstly, an Indian marriage is not the union of a man and a woman. It is the union of two families. So, your courtship period is a very important facet of your pre-wedded life. This is the best time to know each others’ families. Especially for a girl, it is of utmost importance. The girl mingles with the boy’s family and it will give her an idea about what kind of people there are and how they mingle. Even a boy must mingle with the girl’s side, as this will help you comprehend her background and upbringing of their spouse-to-be. 

Secondly, different families have their own style and system of living. One should be aware of what to expect in future. Certain families are forward and less religious, while few are religious and conservative. Understanding their culture and lifestyle is very essential.

Third, The courtship is the best time for a couple to get close and know each other. Spending quality time and discussing small to big problems, even arguing; gets one another close and increase their compatibility. 

Fourth, If you intend to continue studying or have predetermined goals about working, which include travelling a lot then such details should always be spoken out and clarified. If such matters are not clearly talked about during your courtship, it may lead to discontent in the future. 

Fifth, discuss aspects such as how you jointly wish to manage your social life, daily routines, work life as well as family life. If he or she thinks any different, you both should come out with a solution that makes you both happy. 

Sixth, both the partners must make an effort to mingle with each other’s friends in this period so you both get to be yourselves and he or she can understand your actual personality. 

Seventh, there are few more points that need to be discussed before marriage. Like, how many children do you and your partner want and when do you want to have children. 

Courtship is essentially a prologue of your life after marriage! Especially, if you are married to someone you got connected to over an Indian Matrimonial Site, or any other route of arranged marriages. 

Courtship is necessary while getting married. Be it a love marriage or through an Indian Matrimonial Site, one needs to know what he or she should expect after being married.

Tips to finding the right Partner

Choosing a partner with whom you can spend your life with is a rather important decision. In today’s modern day and age, Indian arranged marriages too, are conducted via rather unconventional routes. The existence of matrimonial websites has made it possible for brides and grooms to look for their better halves with relative ease. 

Before you start your hunt, you need to consider the following – 

Understanding who you are - It is important that before you interact with or meet with any potential life partner, you gain significant self awareness that allows you to grow into an honest and open minded individual. Start now, by working on your weaknesses so that you don’t need to impose any personal baggage on the new relationship. Be confident about your belief system and you will be able to attract towards yourself the perfect match.

Understand what you are Looking for in your Partner -Knowing what it is that you expect will help you avoid getting into a relationship with a person who eventually has different goals in life than yours. 

Ask the Right Questions - It is important that you go well beyond the conventional professional and hobby related questions to assess whether or not your potential partner suits you. Also, if you are a Manglik, it is best to clarify the same from the beginning. Also discuss factors such as ethics, spiritual belief systems and even dietary habits that can prove to be critical when you live together. 

Avoid making any Commitments with any individual before you really get to know him or her- Relationships often get clouded by physical intimacy. If you have moved on to the courtship stage, it is important that you work hard to really get to know the person. Getting to know your future partner deeply is excellent for a sustainable long term relationship.

Making the Families Meet - In an Indian matrimonial setting especially, it is important that the families get along as much as the couple does. Since you will most likely be living with your in laws or interacting with them on a very regular basis, it is critical that you and your own family get to know your partner’s family. Also understand if they have any inhibitions with regards to you or your partner being a Manglik. The elder’s of the family are always able to come up with practical solutions to such potential problems.

By spending enough time with your partner and his or her family, you can make informed assessments of your life together as husband and wife.

Finding a life partner can be quite a daunting task considering how it can affect your life. This article discusses how you can go about finding the perfect spouse for yourself.

Romantic ways to propose

You may have spent months or even years interacting with different profiles on online matrimonial sites, and finally, you have found that one girl who makes you skip your heart beats and make your feet melt. Even though your relationship may have started rather unconventionally, complete with awkward conversations and a whole lot of apprehensions, you can change the dynamics by giving her one of the most special proposals.

While asking for her hand to marry you, you may consider using some of the following creative ideals to show how deeply you feel about her –

·      Fireworks

Who will not go weak in the knees when they see a beautiful display of colors exploring in the sky before them. You can have your friends to put up a firework display when you go down on your knees, or get in touch with a firework manufacturer who will be able to custom make one for you with a special message.

·     Candlelight Dinner – A rather classic and traditional way to pop the question, this may just turn out to be the most appropriate way to propose to someone you met on an online matrimonial site. You can take her to her favorite restaurant and request the staff to give you a quiet corner where you can have some privacy. Request them to play some of her favorite love songs and set the mood with candles.

·    Serenade your Love – Singing a song of love to the one you intend to spend the rest of your life with is probably the most heart melting experience a girl can have. You don’t need to write your own song, but just pick one that means something to the two of you. You can set the scene by making sure she is caught off guard with the song. However, it is best that you practice in advance relying on last minute preparation can have quite disastrous results. You can also consider altering a popular song to incorporate the proposal lyrics.

·     Plan a Treasure Hunt – An innovative way to propose is by setting up an intelligent treasure hunt of sorts which takes your lady love to different parts of the city to finally find you and a proposal waiting for her.

Considering the fact that you met your spouse on an online matrimonial site, chances are that she may already be expecting a proposal. This makes it all the more a reason to create a special occasion for her and give her a proposal that she will never forget!

As conservative as may sound to find your life partner on an online matrimonial site, you can help break the ice and start your life together on a highly romantic note by giving her the best proposal ever. Here are a few ideas you may steal!